Health and Wellness, Self-improvement

Owning and Embracing Your Introverted Self

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My name is Amber, and I am an introvert. 

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not asocial or a recluse. I need human connection just like anyone else; I just don’t need as much of it as some people do.

I love and cherish my partner, friends, and family — and they’re easy to spend time around because I know them so well. But nine times out of ten, I would rather stay at home and do my own thing than go to a social gathering with a bunch of people I don’t know as well.

I have to admit I’m not really much for parties, concerts, or other noisy events with big crowds. I’ll go to one every now and then and enjoy myself for a bit, but as soon as I leave, I pretty much need to go home and retreat into my cave for a while before I can face the world again.

I’m not into a lot of the things that other people my age are into. I’d rather read, play music, or do art than have a rowdy night out on the town. I am so not a night owl, it’s not even funny. I am neither trendy nor hip, and the vast majority of pop culture references go right over my head.

And I’m completely okay with it.

I didn’t always love this part of myself, though. I grew up in a culture that rewards, encourages, and praises extroversion. Being loud and outgoing is valued over being quiet and reserved. Extroverts tend to dominate the social scene and the cultural conversation because, well, they talk more than we do. Our voices aren’t always heard over the commotion, even though we have plenty to say.

But in our silence lies our strength. There’s so much more to us introverts than meets the eye. I feel strongly that it’s time for us to stop seeing our introverted nature as a weakness and start owning and celebrating all of who we are. Being an introvert isn’t anything to hide or be ashamed of; it’s a gift.

Living in an Extroverted World

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The truth of the matter is that we live in a world that strongly caters to extroverted personality types. As a result, we’re often misunderstood by people who don’t share our tendencies. Author Susan Cain talks about the “extrovert ideal” that Western culture idolizes. In an interview with The Guardian, she says: 

“Western society is based on Greco-Roman ideals of the person that can speak well, a rhetorical ideal. We have always been to some extent a society that favors action over contemplation.”

How many of us can relate to this? We’re taught growing up that we need to be gregarious, confident, and “alpha” in order to succeed in life — all stereotypically extroverted traits.

But what if we’re not all of those things? Are we destined for a life of stunted growth and missed potential? Are we doomed to be overlooked and underestimated time and time again simply because we don’t always attract as much attention as the extroverts in our midst?

Hell no, we aren’t. 

We’re not broken, even if we learn to believe that we are from growing up in a society that holds up extroversion as the “ideal” personality. What is broken and deeply wrong is the societal messaging that tells us we’re not okay the way we are.

There’s nothing at all wrong with being outgoing and energetic — if that’s your natural orientation. But feeling constantly pressured and forced to act this way when it’s not who we truly are can make us feel ashamed of ourselves. It sends the message that there’s something wrong with us — even though nothing could be further from the truth.

If you identify as an introvert, I highly suggest you read Susan’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. It’s full of research and deeply comforting wisdom about the unique gifts that introverts bring to the world. 

How Do You Know If You’re an Introvert?

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There are a lot of misconceptions out there about what it means to be an introvert. Many people confuse introversion with shyness, but they’re not exactly the same thing. Although introverts can be shy, not all of us are. Moreover, not all shy people are introverts.

What’s the difference, then? Shyness is a mild form of social anxiety where you feel timid around others and worry about what they might think of you. Shy people don’t necessarily enjoy being alone; they just have a lot of fears around social interactions.

Being introverted does not mean you’re afraid of social situations; it means you draw more energy from being alone than you do from being around people. We introverts can enjoy socializing on our terms — I definitely do — but too much interaction drains our energy, and we have to spend time alone to “recharge”. We usually need and want a lower level of stimulation than our extroverted peers.

Also, introversion and extroversion exist on a spectrum. Most of us don’t neatly fall into one or the other category; instead, we have a mix of introverted and extroverted qualities, but usually lean one way or the other (except for ambiverts, who fall right in the middle).

If you’re not sure whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, you could take a personality test like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (there’s a free version online). Or, take a look at the following list of statements and ask yourself how many you identify with:

  • I truly enjoy my own company.
  • I can think more clearly when I’m by myself.
  • I am very aware of myself, my feelings, and my motivations.
  • Social situations usually leave me feeling drained.
  • I am easily overstimulated by big crowds, lots of noise, and commotion. 
  • Some people have said I am quiet.
  • I have a small but close-knit circle of friends.
  • I tend to think and consider my options before acting.
  • I value my independence and solitude.
  • I’m good at listening and offering advice to others.
  • I have little patience for small talk and casual conversation.
  • I am very observant of the world around me and notice things other people don’t.

Sound familiar? The more of these statements you can relate to, the more likely you are to be an introvert. And if that’s the case — welcome to the club, my friend. You’re in good company here.

The Gifts of Introversion

As introverts, we may be quieter and less “out there” than our extroverted peers. We may never be the life of the party, but our personality type brings a lot of unique gifts to this world. Here are just a few of them.

Creativity

Many introverts are unconventional thinkers with vivid imaginations. A lot of us enjoy thinking outside the box and finding new ways of looking at things. We are deeply connected with our inner selves and often long to express ourselves through creative outlets.

We may very well be artists, although not all of us are. Those of us who are artistically inclined might enjoy activities like drawing, painting, writing, or playing music.

Introspection

If you break down the word “introvert” into its Latin root words intro and vertere, the meaning is “to turn inwards”. Instead of turning outwards towards the world of people and things, introverts turn within. We spend a lot of time in a rich inner world that enables us to explore who we are, what we care about, and where we find meaning in life.

When we take it too far, we can become a bit detached from reality, living too much inside our own heads. But we have a strong capacity to self-reflect, and we make decisions with an awareness of ourselves and our values.

Compassion

Introverts’ self-awareness and sensitivity can provide us with keen insights into how people work. Often, we are empaths who soak up the emotional energy of people around us — which can be part of why it’s exhausting to spend too much time around others. We need to spend time alone to get back in touch with ourselves.

And yet, these same qualities give us the ability to understand and relate to others on a deep level. So when we do extend ourselves and invest in relationships with others, we have a strong ability to love and care for those people.

Thoughtfulness

Although some of us can be impulsive at times (like me!), introverts are usually known for thinking before they act. We tend to be contemplative and think about issues from multiple different angles. We often have a strong sense of right and wrong and well-thought-out philosophies on life that we love to discuss with others. 

Perceptiveness

We may not always share everything we observe, but we introverts take in a lot of information from our surroundings. We notice beauty in our surroundings and small details that other people might overlook. We’re usually observing rather than joining the fray, so we see patterns and dynamics between people that may be subtle. 

Finding Happiness as an Introvert

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In my opinion, the most essential part of living happily as an introvert is to accept that we are introverted. Being introverted (or extroverted) is an orientation towards the world, and it usually doesn’t change much over the course of a person’s life. We need extroverts in the world, for sure, but introverts bring balance to society and provide a different outlook on life. We are the yin to their yang.

So we have to find ways to trust ourselves. We must learn to believe that we are valuable, that we are okay, that we matter and that there’s a place for us in this world. Sometimes, we have to un-learn the societal messaging that we learned growing up. It can take time. But can we do it? Absolutely.

With greater knowledge of what it means to be an introvert, and awareness of the blessings that come with our personality type, we can feel more confident in ourselves. We can identify any negative or limiting beliefs we might have about introversion and start to question them. And most importantly, we can learn to embrace our many strengths and celebrate all of who we are.


How about you? Are you a proud introvert? I’d love to hear about your journey, wherever you’re at, in the comments below.

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Have you ever felt self-conscious about being an introvert? Learn about the many upsides of your personality and why they're worth celebrating. #self-improvement #self-care #health #wellness #personality #introversion #quiet
Productivity and Life Hacks, Self-improvement

The Magic of Bullet Journaling

Need a fun, unconventional way to organize your life? Here’s why you should give Bullet Journaling a try. #bulletjournal #organizeyourlife #selfimprovement #personalgoals
#bull
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I am something of an “organization junkie”. I make lists — way too many lists — of all sorts, and I am a borderline-fanatical keeper of notebooks and journals. I love to write ideas down, to track things, to have a plan. I prefer feeling like I (sort of) know what’s going on in my life and what all I’ve got on my plate at the moment. And when I’ve got my heart set on achieving some kind of long-term goal, I truly enjoy the challenge of thinking and scheming about how I am going to tackle it.

But part of what fuels my love of organizing is that I need to be organized. I’m someone who tends to be doing a lot at any given time, and I’ve found the need for some system to hold and keep track of it all. I’m always seeking, always looking for novelty and ever-curious about trying new things — I live passionately, and I could never tire of that. My weakness is that I don’t always know how to rein it in; many times in my past I’ve taken on too many things and completely overwhelmed myself in the process. For as much as I love exploring all that life has to offer, I am also easily overstimulated, and when it all becomes too much I can burn out pretty quickly.

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I have other thoughts about why being organized is so important, and I’ll save those for a later date. For now, suffice it to say that, to me, organizing isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. And it’s also always been a bit of a challenge; I’ve used plenty of calendars and day planners but I never found a way of being organized that really “clicked” or worked for me. 

Which is why I’m so thankful that, a few years ago, a good friend of mine introduced me to a new system she had started using to keep her life organized: Bullet Journaling. I’d never heard of it before, but the name intrigued me. Basically, she said, you take a blank notebook, divide it into sections and use it to keep track of your various ideas, projects and goals. I started to do research online, and as I read and thought about this unique, quirky system, I realized I needed to try it for myself. I’ve never looked back. The way I use my journal has changed and evolved over the years, but I can honestly say I have never found a better organizational system than this.

So why is it called Bullet Journaling, anyway?

The technique was created by Ryder Carroll, who had trouble focusing and getting things done in conventional ways as a kid. As he grew older, he longed for an organizational system that mirrored the way his mind worked. After a lot of experimentation, he finally arrived at something that worked for him: a hybrid between “a planner, diary, notebook, to-do list and sketchbook”. He even created his own language to describe his one-of-a-kind process. One of the key practices is “rapid logging”, the act of jotting down daily task lists in shorthand sentences known as “bullets”. And that is where the Bullet Journal — or BuJo, as many people in the community call it — gets its name.

And what makes Bullet Journaling so special?

Now you may be asking what it is that I love so much about BuJo, and why I will extol its virtues to anyone who will listen. After almost three years of keeping Bullet Journals, I still geek out about it because:

1. It’s effective. Quite simply, it works. There’s a bit of a learning curve with starting your first journal, but once you get into the flow of using it, it’s very easy and intuitive. All of your to-do lists, plans, upcoming events, ideas, and notes go in one place, and it’s all organized by an index so you can easily and quickly find any information you need, which makes life feel a lot more manageable. I’ve been significantly more productive since I started Bullet Journaling regularly, and there are tons of other BuJo fans who I believe would say the same.

2. It’s incredibly flexible and versatile. A Bullet Journal allows you the freedom and the space to not just write down the items on your task list, but also make note of ideas, muse about long-term dreams or even journal about your day. It has the power to encompass more of your life than what a conventional planner or calendar can do, and that’s the beauty of it; you get to design the book in whatever way works for you and your life. There are as many ways to BuJo as there are people on the planet — the possibilities are endless.]

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3. You can create cool trackers, lists, and other innovative ways to organize info. Sure, you can fill your BuJo with lists, if that’s your cup of tea. But if you are more of a visual thinker, you might try adding some trackers to your journal. You can use habit trackers like these to record how often you do habits like exercise, healthy eating, sleep, reading, meditation, and time with loved ones. Other types of trackers let you document how many books you’ve read, how much money you’ve saved for your next vacation, or even what mood you’re in from day to day. Regardless of how you choose to use them, though, trackers can be a great way to visualize your goals and priorities. 

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4. Bullet Journaling is all done by hand. Writing by hand, Ryder tells us, engages our minds in a different way than typing or using apps. When we hand write notes, for example, we activate more parts of the brain and store information more effectively than when we type our notes. Writing by hand takes more focus and intention than typing, but it also keeps our brains sharper by getting us to think more deeply about the information we’re taking in. It also means less time spent in front of a screen, which most of us could probably use.

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5. You can make it as creative and colorful as you want. The artist in me loves this. A BuJo can be purely functional, of course, but there are all kinds of ways to add a little personality and zazz to your journal if you feel so inclined. Personally, I keep a stock of PaperMate flair pens on hand specifically for Bullet Journaling; they come in a whole rainbow of fun, bright colors, they write well and they won’t bleed through your paper. Aside from indulging my inner kid, writing in different colors allows me to color-code different sections of my journal, which makes it easy to scan through and see what those sections are about. Functional and fun!

6. You can see evidence of your progress. The Bullet Journal format makes it easy to thumb through your notebooks and see how you are doing in different areas of your life. Once you’ve been using your trackers for a while, they can show you your patterns over time — like which habits you’ve been most consistent at — and you can see a visual record of the progress you have made. I’ve personally found this to be very motivating. 

Even simple daily to-do lists, when they’re written by hand, give you the opportunity to physically cross each item off of the list. Digital to-do lists can seem faster and more efficient, but I’ve found I get a greater sense of accomplishment from using paper lists because they show me what I’ve done. When I’ve kept digital lists in the past, the things I’ve done are simply deleted, while new items continue to pile on. At the end of the day it’s easy to look at a list like this and wonder if I really did anything at all. A paper list full of finished tasks is a record of how I spent my time and an affirmation that I am, in fact, a productive human being.

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7. You’ll have old journals to look back on. One of my favorite parts of journaling — any kind of journaling — is reading through old journals. Cracking open a notebook from years ago takes me back to another time and place in my life. Suddenly I remember who I was then, what I thought and felt, and what was important to me. Journals from the past are a record of who you have been. And who you have been is what led you to who you are now. It’s an amazing thing, to be able to look back on years’ worth of stuff you’ve written and trace how you’ve evolved and grown as a person — and the rewards only become richer the more time you spend journaling.

8. It helps you live more mindfully. At its core, BuJo is a mindful practice. It’s all about discovering what is most important to you and learning to focus your time and energy on those things. It makes you look more closely at how you spend each day and helps you structure your time. BuJo is so much more than just scheduling and planning; it’s a journey of self-inquiry and exploration. I’ve found that it gives my days structure and helps me feel like I am spending my time in meaningful, purposeful ways. And to me, that is enormously valuable.


While I don’t think there is any “perfect” way to stay organized, I am a firm believer in the power of Bullet Journaling because it has worked so well for me. And I want you to know that if I could do this, you absolutely can, too. If more people could feel the peace and contentment that comes from something as simple as being organized, or the satisfaction of making progress towards long-held dreams, I believe we’d be living in a different world.

What about you? Are you a BuJo fan like me? Or are you thinking of trying it? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.

Fitness, Health and Wellness

How Running Changed My Life (and Could Change Yours, Too)

Think you’re not a runner? Here are some ways it could change your life if you give it a chance. #running #fitnessgoals #healthyliving #selfimprovement
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Running can be a very polarizing sport. On one end of the spectrum, you have diehard fans who compete in ultramarathons and races throughout the year, and on the other end, you have haters who say that it’s a sport for crazy people who enjoy pain and suffering. In my life, I have been both a lover and a hater of running, and trust me when I say that I was a hater for a long, long time before I finally came around.

I had (sort of) tried it a couple of times when I was younger, but it never came naturally to me the way it seemed to to other people. Don’t get me wrong; I was plenty active growing up — I was on a swim team as a kid and teenager — but even so, running was always my Achilles’ heel. We’d do dryland training from time to time and while the rest of my teammates seemed to be able to run without a fuss, I struggled to keep up. Even half a mile felt like a lot for me. And a whole mile? Forget it.

So, I made up my mind early on that running was “too hard” and not something I could ever enjoy. I wrote it off, and regrettably spent most of my life telling myself the story that I was “not a runner”. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I finally tried challenging that notion. How I got into it is a story in and of itself, but after training and running my first race with my mom, I was hooked. 

The thing is — and most runners will readily admit this — running is a little insane. It has an intensity that scares a lot of people away. Sure, usually you feel great after a run, but during? It’s work. It can be grueling, hot, sweaty, even miserable work. Sometimes you feel like stopping; other times the hardest part is dragging your butt out to get started in the first place. Simply put, it ain’t for sissies.

But looking back on the last few years of my life, I can see that running has been hugely influential on the person I have become. It might sound dramatic to say that it has changed my life, but I believe that it has. And if it left such a strong imprint on me, surely it could do the same for others. Now, I’m not saying that everyone in the world has to become a runner; if it’s truly not for you, then it’s not for you. But if you’re open to giving it a try, here are just some of the ways that running can transform your life.

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You’ll get in amazing shape, and possibly live longer. Running is one of the best cardiovascular activities out there. It will keep your heart strong, your lungs healthy and your muscles toned. Like any form of exercise, it can reduce stress and lower the risk of long-term diseases, potentially increasing your longevity. Of course, running is also high-impact and can be hard on your body over time, but running in the right gear (especially shoes) and working on your form can help minimize the risk of repetitive motion injuries, falls and sprains.

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You’ll become stronger through pushing yourself to do things that are challenging. What if I told you that a huge part of the value of running is the difficulty of it? For me, running isn’t worth doing because it’s easy; it’s worth doing because it’s hard. It toughens you up on so many levels. You’ll quite literally “feel the burn” of your muscles and lungs as you start to fatigue. Your feet, your legs, your hips and your back will get sore.

But the real challenge is more mental — and the real question is, can you keep on pushing and striving towards a larger goal even when things are starting to get really uncomfortable and hard? Can you move through layers of physical, mental and emotional resistance and keep going anyway? Can you ignore the negative, self-sabotaging voices inside that tell you you “can’t” do something and then proceed to prove them wrong? Running will push you to do all of these things and more, and you’ll be better off for it.

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You’ll become better at sitting with discomfort and prioritizing long-term rewards over short-term comfort and ease. I wish I could say that running gets easier over time. It does, in a way, as your body adapts and becomes stronger, but you’ll always be riding the edge of discomfort. While running shouldn’t be painful, when it’s done right, it should bring you up against your edges and push you out of your comfort zone.

This may not ever feel entirely easy or pleasant, but when you practice doing that on a regular basis, you’ll at least get more used to being with discomfort — observing it, noticing it, and letting it pass without attaching any meaning to it. Sooner or later you may even find you’re less attached to “being comfortable” and that it feels more natural to make decisions that benefit you in the long term rather than resorting to doing whatever is easiest in the moment. Running is a perfect example of how sometimes, the difficult things in life are great teachers for us.

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You’ll become more in-tune with your body, mind and surroundings. As challenging as running can be, it can also feel oddly meditative. Especially being outdoors where you can breathe the fresh air and feel the sun on your face. Your senses are engaged, perhaps even heightened. You might find yourself marveling at the beauty of the scenery that you normally breeze by without a second thought while you’re driving in a car. If you go without music, you hear sounds you normally don’t notice — the sound of your feet hitting the ground as they fall into a rhythm with your breath is borderline hypnotic.

Some people run to distract themselves, watching TV on their treadmills or listening to music as they go. But I run to practice being more present. It’s amazing how rich the experience of just running can be on its own, and being free of distractions (even for a few minutes) is wonderfully liberating. Running without distractions is also safer because you stay more aware of what’s happening around you, which makes it easier to avoid dangers like oncoming cars and bikes.

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You can make new friends. While there’s an incomparable peace and stillness that comes with running alone, running with others can be a lot of fun. Running is a great social activity to do with partners, friends, family, and fur babies. One thing I really enjoy about running is the way it brings people from many different walks of life together. And there are always exceptions, but in my experience, the running community is generally made up of positive, upbeat, supportive people who will encourage you along in your journey. There’s a real kinship among runners — a shared understanding that we’re all a little crazy in the same way, we’re all pushing ourselves to see what we are capable of, and we’re all in this together. And there’s something special about that.

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You’ll expand your sense of what is possible for you. Running is incredibly empowering and a huge confidence-booster. At least, for me, it has been. I believed I could never in a million years become a runner — and then I proved myself wrong. I went from struggling to run half a mile to running 5Ks, 10Ks and even a half marathon. My “limitations” with running had been entirely self-created, and once I realized that, I felt like I could do anything.

The same could be said for any challenging thing in life — anything you’re telling yourself is hard or impossible, anything that seems out of reach. I don’t know you, but I can tell you this: you are strong, and you are capable of so much more than you realize. So start questioning and challenging those stories that are holding you back in life, and I can almost guarantee you’ll surprise yourself with what you can do.


Running may not be for the faint of heart, but it is quite the journey. If you choose to go on this path, know that it will challenge you, it will help you grow, and it will take you to places you wouldn’t expect. And if that doesn’t make it a worthwhile pursuit, I don’t know what does.

How about you? Are you a runner? If so, what do you love about it and why? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.